Refraction | Part 1 | Darwin's Steroids

1)

So Chuck and I are hanging out on the back porch waiting for Ericbuddyintheclub and Hump, drinking as much beer as we can as fast as possible via the expedient method of a beer bong.(herein after "the tube")  I am swilling my fourth when Chuck starts babbling about hearing horses, which is ridiculous because the pony express stopped running this route two years ago, when those guys from 'brown' (they know who they are) showed up with machine guns and ran the valiant riders of the PoEX right outta town.  I explain this to him in no uncertain terms and demand that he agrees with me in writing before sealing the deal with another tube.  He complains that he did indeed hear the distinct sound of a horse coming from over the fence.  I gasp and point across the yard, and when he turns to look I punch him just where the medulla enters the foramen magnum of the skull.  He is knocked out cold.  Because he is no longer drinking it I take his beer.

As I finish, EBITC comes running through the house and into the back yard, and he too is ranting about horses, but that's not all.  Midget horses.  Tiny horses in the street, not one but two, and maybe three small horses running the streets of Denver.  I couldn't believe it.  I drop into a defensive stance and dare EBITC to say it again to my face, when he does I sweep the leg, as he goes down he lashes out with his angel blade and cuts me.  Hump comes in and say that there are horses in the street, and that I am bleeding.  After steeling my nerves with another tube, I decided to check for myself, and I SHIT YOU NOT, I was bleeding.  From my leg.  I take a close look at the wound and decide that stitches are in order.  I am bleeding quite a bit and decide to keep the reserves of liquid in my body up with another tube, then head out to the FU Mobile.  I pull out of the driveway, and because I am stinking shitty I almost run into these people who were walking tiny fucking horses right down the street.  "They're cheaper to feed than dogs" the lady says.

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